If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
