I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
