ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize