i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
