I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
