Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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