I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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