I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
