Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
