Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
