He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
