O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
