she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
