Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
