Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
