adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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