The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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