I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
