what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
