Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
