Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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