Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Found your dick twin last night
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize