Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
