Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize