I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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