Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
