JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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