you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
