Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
