So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I will pee on everything he values.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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