So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
