so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
