I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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