Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
