i just google imaged poop.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
