either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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