It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i think i just lost a toe
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
