We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
