ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
