Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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