dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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