I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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