We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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