His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
