I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
