wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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