too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize