Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
