insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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