it was like his penis was on wheels.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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