It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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