We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
