Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
