Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
