i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
