since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize