My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
