I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
