Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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