lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
