Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
