Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
