Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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