I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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