Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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