This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
