I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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