Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
