So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
