Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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