i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
