"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she pinky promised me she was 18
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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