I'm going to jail i love you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
