Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize