I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
