So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
