I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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