I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
