I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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