Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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