Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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