She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Watching her eat just hurts me
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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